Today marks the 68th years after Indonesia gained the independence from colonial government of Dutch and Japanese, and yet up until now I still cannot celebrate it wholeheartedly for a lot of reason.
Here goes a thought of mine about freedom, independence, and nationalism.
When I look up at the dictionary for the definition of “Freedom” , I got several definition.
1)Freedom is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance
Which we of course have after the end of Orde Baru regime under Soeharto.
2)Freedom is an absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government
In my personal opinion, we are not fully independent for almost every company that manage our national resources are a foreign company.
3)Freedom is the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved
Frankly speaking, I feel like I’m enslaved by the culture of other countries, most particularly Korea and the States.
The most important definition for me is that 4) Freedom is the power of self-determination attributed to the will; the quality of being independent of fate or necessity.
Which I have none of.
Growing up in Jakarta, I hardly celebrate independence day in a joyful way, in which I voluntary join the ceremony or feeling any particular sentimental emotion about being freed from Dutch and Japanese.The more I grow, the more I learn about the bitter reality of Indonesia’s politics, the corrupted government and the lazy mentality of Indonesian citizens.All of those things dulled my sense of nationalism, I grow apathetic towards whatever going on in this country, God can put His wrath in this country and I will not care at all.I begin to get tired of the fabricated nationalism which only appears when we had a petty fight with Malaysia or during soccer/badminton/whatever games.
Although truest thing is, the reason why I seems very apathetic towards 17 Agustus is the fact that I’m ashamed of tweeting nationalism stuff and posting everything about how I love Indonesia and so on and so on but deep down I am still senile towards Indonesia’s fate in the future.I’m ashamed to feel joyful about the independence if deep down I will still choose foreign products and despise Indonesia’s products and calling it cheap useless broken shit.I’m ashamed of putting up a nationalism image when deep down, I only want myself to grow and develop but leaving my country behind for I believe that there is no hope anymore in this country.
This year though, God has given me a beautiful chance to experience once again the enthusiasm of Independence Day.During Kuliah Kerja Nyata di Desa Cibodas, Kecamatan Lembang, Kabupaten Bandung Barat this year, I got to experience a wonderful celebration of Indonesia’s independence, the enthusiasm and optimism from the crowds here kind of slapped me in the face. How could I given up so soon when I haven’t even try?
Beneath the hill covered by trees that surrounds Desa Cibodas, under the vast clear blue sky, I proudly sing the national anthem with an outburst of feeling that I describe as…’proud’, I was proud this morning, seeing the red and white colored flag of Indonesia rise above and blown away majestically by the wind.I held my high up, and I decided to held my hope up too.
DIRGAHAYU KE-68 NEGARA KESATUAN REPUBLIK INDONESIA.
I will not give up.