It’s been 4 days since my Mother is back in Jakarta and tomorrow she will leave to Balikpapan. My Mother has recently moved out back to Balikpapan after she retired two months ago. However, instead of moving back to our hometown, Balikpapan, to enjoy her retirement days, she moved out because she has to work, again. She turned 54 this year and she has reached her financial stability, no longer burdened by my older sisters and I because all of us already got a job, she actually doesn’t need to work anymore. And yet she does.
All 22 years of my life that I’ve known her, I always thought of her as a superwoman, a hardworker who did all her work meticulously without complaining. She’s super because she maintained to be a career woman even after she married my dad and has three kids. She continued to support all three of us (my older sisters and I) even after my father died 10 years ago and not once, not even once I feel inadequate in terms of financial stability after he died. I always thought of that as a marvelous achievement because she’s not a boss in her company, she didn’t hold a high-profile position, she’s merely an ordinary employee but she could support three consumptive childrens while still being able to give support to others in need.
Two days ago I drove her to ATM because she needed to pay some bills and she broke the silence in the car by saying that she’s actually does not feel like working anymore, she really wants to retired for good but she can’t run away from her responsibility in managing family’s business and taking care of my Opa. I felt sorry for her, I really did. I know very well that she likes it better in Jakarta, she could tend her garden, manage all her kids whose in their 20s and 30s still need a support and guidance from her, and she could relax like how retiree suppose to do.
The terms of brave could mean many things, bravery could be shown in so many ways. When I witnessed how my Mother give up her comfort in Jakarta to take care of family’s business and most importantly to take care of my Opa so he doesn’t have to work anymore in his 80s,
I begin to understand that bravery could also mean getting out of your comfort zone and laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, for someone else.
Bravery could also mean sacrifice for your loved one. I realized that bravery means giving up your goods for something greater. My mother has teach me many values, and two days ago I learnt a value of self-sacrifice. She said that if it’s not for her love and devotion to his parents (nee; my Opa), she could never do it, the works are hard and she has to be responsible for the life of not only her family but other who works for our family business’s as well. She said that she does this because it should be done for people who need her strenght because they don’t have enough of their own. She continued saying that
what a waste of life if you can only live and think about yourself.
She encouraged me to find a purpose to serve others, not only a lifestyle to live and that someday I will find out that there’s other thing more important than having your own happiness, but more in seeing others. Her selflessness hit me hard, she once again reminds me that when you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. No matter how inconceivable those needs were; no matter how fucked up; no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces but you do it without complaining because your drive is love. And just like Albus Dumbledore said,”Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity those who live, and above all pity those who live without love.”
And as Melissa de la Cruz said, maybe this was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness.
It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another’s well-being is more important than one’s own.
My mother is a superwoman, she has been a superwoman for so long and she has taught me a lot of important values that shape who I am today. From her I learn the desire to do goods for other, to always remember that our materials ownership are nothing if we don’t think about other people. I’m a selfish, ordinary, spoiled kid but I know, I do know how delightful and joyful it feels when you could help people and make others happy. There’s this one thing that I’ve said to one of my friend ( I can’t remember who), I said to them that I want to be rich in the context when I eat steak or delicious foods I don’t want to eat it alone, I want to share, I want others to feel the happiness that I feel and I want others to be able to get the privilige I’ve in life.
And then I feel sad because I know that
when you become a parents, one of the hardest jobs as a parents were to realize that their own dreams, their own goals and wishes, are secondary to their children’s.
My mother has given up a lot of things. She has served her parents devotedly, without ever complaining, she has raised all her kids in one of the best way, she has prioritized her beloved’s needs instead of her and for that, and for that God, God the most Merciful of all, please let her be healthy, please bless her because she has love others so much perhaps she even forgot to love herself. She has love You so much that I know she always feel guilty when she missed out her Quran recital routine.
Dear God, in the year of 22 in my life, I’ve learn about sacrifice and the meaning of bravery and love from my Mother. I hope I’ll be given a strenght and courage to serve others as I promised to myself and as a regard to one of the bravest people I know, My Mother.